LIVE A LIFE LIKE YOU ARE ALIVE

I love to drool over lifestyle, good to better, better to best. Who doesn’t want to? Especially when you have tasted the essence of it. Of late we have moved to a new place, I met a girl, who was strolling around with her pet at an evening. We got introduced to each other and started walking, we had a nice conversation during our walk, and I got to know she is a photographer by profession; she was telling how she started her journey in photography. An elevated style of living helped her to come across all the way where she is today. By elevated life style, she doesn’t mean unaffordable, luxurious life. She shared with me few glimpses of her lifestyle, which helped her to live a happy and healthy life both personally and professionally. Like every journey, she also faced ups and downs, bumpy roads and smooth roads as well. By making smarter choices and lifestyle she defeated most of the obstacles which came on her way. Below are some mantras of her lifestyle that she shared with me:-

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1)    She told me one simple part of her lifestyle and that is before going to bed she always tries to focus on that day’s moments of joy, no matter how many things she did wrong on that day. She always tries to list down things she is grateful for. That very habit of her strikes me from within. I always used to worry about things that I didn’t do, or I could have done. After that day I also started to practice that simple rule which helped me to live a healthy and happy life. That’s how I experience we are not born with fixed amount of ability, it’s a muscle that needs to be developed with regular practice, and we can draw it when we require it.

 

 

2)    The serenity of nature always boosts her energy up to the next level. Sometimes morning sunshine or evening quietness helped her to forget all the drudgeries of work life and next day she started her work in a fresh way. Sometimes on weekend spending time on a lakeside or walking in a park, she used to recall all her good memories of past, and how she used to sustain in challenging situations of life, that motivated her a lot. With growing age, we start losing our childhood innocence and sportive spirit by facing obscurities of life, staying close to nature helped her to regain that spirit from within.

 

 

3)    Spending quality time on hobby will reshape you with all your dreams. We all have certain hobbies, doesn’t matter if one is doing job, self-employed entrepreneur or house wife. Some love to paint, others have an interest in music or cooking or in home decoration and so on. Nowadays ‘’art for art’s sake’’ is an old proverb for us. Being pressurized with work commitments and various responsibilities, we often forget that once we used to be good at something. That girl reminded me how spending sometimes on hobby helped her to deal with short-term failures and again she raised with all the possibilities.

 

4)    She shared with me that at the beginning of her career she used to spend a long time of every day on social media misusing unlimited internet access and kill time by scrolling up and down. At the end of the day her energy used to fall short for doing anything productive. This often happens with me, and then she found a way out for this problem. Keeping yourself suddenly away from any bad habit when you are fond of it, is not an easy task. She used to log out of all her accounts and log in once a day. Initially, it was difficult but slowly, it became a habit and it saved a lot of time every day to think or do something in a productive way.

 

 

“An unexamined life is not worth living”

-Socrates

We can’t develop a decent lifestyle unless we examine or experience it. We read good books, listen to motivational speeches that definitely lead to building the positive attitude, but we can’t get along with it for long. But when we see a live example or a girl to our next door is working so hard to live a life like she is alive, teaches us to live not just exist.

 

 

 

 

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SELF-IMPROVEMENT, A LEARNING EXPERIENCE

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Yes, self-improvement is a learning experience indeed. It starts when we realize we need to develop positive views towards life. In my personal journey, I have witnessed many people have transformed themselves as better individuals in various aspects of life. They started their journey from zero and achieved several goals at a given time. I got intrigued by their dedication and observed how little changes in everyday routine help them to transform. Many of us think that after a certain age we can’t do anything in life, there is a time for everything. If you believe in yourself, there is no right time to start from first step, at any point of life we can start to focus on self-growth. That’s what I learned by witnessing some people’s journey.

 

 UTILISE LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES: – If we assume life as a learning curve and observe our surrounding, we will find a lot of opportunities to learn, we can learn from everybody, everything, and every situation. That can be an enjoyable and empowering activity. I have often been benefitted by it. When I watch some people closely and how they keep themselves calm even in a very harsh phase of life, that time I look into myself from a neutral point of view and ask how would I behave in the similar situation, and definitely I wouldn’t have behaved in a calm way. In this way, I learn calm and composed attitude can help us to make better decisions in life and changes our views to take life in a sportive way. To keep us calm is the major tool of self-improvement. It needs regular mental practice. Researching few articles and books, I get to know that we have to decide how we would love to act in a difficult situation, and how the consequences will be if we behave in a calm way. We have to rehearse in our mind this process every day so that when the harsh situation will come, our subconscious mind will direct us to remain calm, it helped me a lot in my personal growth as a mature individual.

 

SET A DEADLINE: – Deadline can be our best friend if we want to get anything done in time. Even I experience this in so many ways, being lazy I kept so many jobs unfinished for lack of time or I would rather say lack of sense of time. Every time I promised myself I will finish household chores daily and afterward I will focus on my personal development, as there was no deadline, the obvious outcome was all my work for personal growth was prolonged. I started to give a deadline for everyday small works and it worked.

 

STOP PROCRASTINATING:- Procrastination is a vice in us, which slowly poisons our self-esteem,  for example if we start a work and try to finish it in six months, before starting the work we already procrastinate the possible difficulties and challenges which may emerge on our way, as consequences we delay the work and never be able to finish, simultaneously we find a lot of people around who start the same work and do finish it on time, that’s the difference, the strong mindset and determination are needed to avoid procrastination and to grow as a better person.

 

FOCUS ON THE WAYS NOT ON THE AIMS: – Converting dream into reality is the best thing that can ever happen in anyone’s life. Often we float away with colorful dreams and start to live in the imaginary world made of dreams. This is not harmful that can definitely boost our strength up but this is not practical either. To do that we often ignore the ways to reach that dream, it’s better to focus on the process, we need to exercise the habits of perseverance, discipline, and regularity. Once we will master these habits, gradually we will start observing positive changes in our day-to-day life.

 

SELF-AWARENESS: – To make a better version of ourselves, we have to be grimmest jawed that we won’t lie to ourselves and will face the fact who we really are by accepting our flaws. If we try to be better at something, the first and foremost step is self-awareness, in this situation we can step back and evaluate what we can do the best or what we have to work on. There must be something or some works in which we showed our excellence in the past, we can make a list of them and brush them up to bring the best out of us, it will eventually awaken the spirit in us by planting the seed of self-growth.

 

That’s how we learn to build the core muscle of our lifestyle, which needs regular exercise to be active. When we look back with a sigh at the pile of unfulfilled works and dreams, we realize those things could have been achieved with little discipline and consistency, unknowingly we keep ourselves into the dark realm of false promise and create a world of self-satisfaction around us to escape reality. At a certain point of life we introspect and feel the urge to transform ourselves as new us, and consequently the journey of self- improvement begins.

 

 

 

 

When excuse becomes a habit

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Every morning we wake up with so many actions to deal with, but till dusk, many of them remain incomplete. Sometimes we don’t get time but most of the time we get excuses. Excuse is the only negative tendency that pulls us back from doing all the undone works.

The fear of taking commitment and responsibility motivates us to make excuses. Knowingly or unknowingly we want to run away from our flaws by making excuses. We feel the need of excuses to make our self-image clean and intact, to get relief for time being. Thus we find a way of false satisfaction and assurance. This is a labyrinthine trap and we always get the victim of it. It conveniently becomes our habit to give excuses for every small thing. There must be some ways to get rid of this habit or I should rather say bad habit in disguise.

                             Conflict between conscious and instinctive state of mind

We all have so many goals in life; some may have a goal to build a healthy lifestyle. Others may have a goal to achieve a milestone in working life. Every small consistent step can make them happen. But we fall prey of conflict between the conscious and instinctive state of mind. Conscious mind knows what is good for us and motivates us to follow our goals, whereas instinctive mind reminds us that the way will be no easier. It needs complete perseverance and dedication and instigates us not to do it. So there is a huge gap between two states of mind, so what we can do is we can make a bridge of will power between two states of mind. It surely will take time but slowly it will make sustainable habits which will keep us away from giving excuses, rather it will grow the courage within us to accept our flaws and to work on it. 

                                     Do not hide from yourself

Keep yourself conscious or awake not to hide from real you. Very often we use excuses as a curtain to cover our flaws. If we accept ourselves with our flaws, we need not to depend on excuses. We can build sustainable habits from beginning to improve our life.

                                  One good habit at a time

Every individual wants to make a better version of themselves, and to do so we aim to develop so many habits together. Let’s say someone wants to consume only healthy foods and cut out all the outside junk foods, now that is not impossible, but when the practice is brand new and is not a part of daily habits, it will be difficult to build it in one day. It is a bit like juggling if we randomly throwing a dozen balls in the air. What is going to happen? The solution to this problem is start practicing with one ball, once you got one under control, add another. And repeat the process. In this way to reform your food habit, start part by part; do one part at a time. When consistently good habits will generate, we won’t tend to make excuses.

                                  Everyday pursuit

Yes everyday pursuit may sound like a hardest and challenging part of any journey, but once it will get habituated, it will be a fun way of self-satisfaction. On that part, we have to be determined. For example, you want to grow reading habit, read every day, if you don’t want to read every day, can take a break for one or two days in between, but don’t give up on it. It does not matter if you are progressing slowly.  When it will become a habit, the hardest thing to do is stop. If we can stick to everyday pursuit, we can keep excuses away from us to some extent.

                    

Building sustainable habit has never been a cakewalk, we have to take challenges to reach where we always want to be, and that will allow us to grow as a person. Excuses will lead us nowhere, instead, reduces our confidence and take our focus off important goals. We have to trust our positive instinct and one day will realize that excuse is no longer a barrier of what makes who we really are.

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

Women Empowerment

Now a days in every media, newspaper, social media we find quotes, blogs, articles based on feminism. We glorify the power of women altogether and much more. I as a woman love being glorified, want to empower all the women out there morally, mentally, socially. Yes we need empowerment, I do support. We need to learn every day and we should grow up, yes we should grow up.

How ?? Oh yes :

1) First of all before talking about all these values of empowerment, we need to learn that feminism does not mean defaming men in any sense but we are busy doing that. Demonstrating your things on your own or paying your bills should be a celebration of independence, confidence and freedom. We should cherish ourselves as independent individuals. But when I read statement from a distinguished woman of our society something like that “I don’t need a man for anything other than…….”. This signifies nothing but a fragile set of mind. We can see your powerful personality and know what you can do.You need not to defend your strength every now and then.

2) We are not here to compete with each other. Cyclonic monk Swami Vivekananda says ”The world of humanity is possessed of two wings – the male and the female. So long as these two wings are not equivalent in strength, the bird will not fly.” we should give a profound thought on it.

3) Most importantly all the facilities to empower women should be provided to the women of below poverty area. women of high society are already privileged, it’s easier and fun for them to comment whatever they feel. I agree that every other day there are news of rapes and infanticides, yes those culprits, those devils in disguise should be hanged till death. But we can’t generalize. There are lots of men around who inspire and respect women a lot.

4) Finally I will conclude that every woman should respect each other’s thought, that’s a integral part of women empowerment. If we really want to improve each other’s skill, do constructive criticism, unfortunately most of us don’t know what constructive criticism is (including me). We can’t evaluate someone’s effort if we are not at their level. Repentantly I have to say we need keen wisdom and insight to grow up.

Happy International Women’s Day

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Today social media sites are suffused with the wishes of international women’s day. Everyone is sharing some quotes, we do respect it and enjoy womanhood. Nevertheless,  we will read some news of rape, acid attacks, domestic violence every day.I am not saying every woman gets victim of it. There are definitely some men who respect women a lot. Let us cherish strength of women at every beat of life. Couple of months back  I saw a post on facebook that a man marries an acid attack survivor, people praised the man who married the girl, undoubtedly the man has done a noble deed, but don’t we think that we should have praised the girl’s courage as well, she at least decided to move on in her life, we all should learn how to sustain after coming across tons of hurdles instead of giving up on life.

There are so many women  who are successful in different fields, others get inspired by them. Success has its various definitions, Success of a woman always does not mean doing a quality job and earning a huge bucks. A woman who is striving day in and day out with poverty for giving food to their children, is successful on her own terms. A woman being a single mother struggling every day to bring up her children in a proper way, is successful on her own terms. A woman who does her entire household works, gives time to her family and do follow her passion is successful on her own terms. A woman after doing all the responsibilities towards family, maintains her office work at the same time, is successful on her own terms. She is a responsible daughter, loving wife, affectionate mother and a playful sister. Ladies appreciate each other and your contribution towards life. Being woman is a joy, celebrate womanhood , your existence and the fact who you are.

 

Depression

Survey shows that women suffer from depression hundred times more than men, we all want to know “why”. Renowned psychiatrists have their own analytical researches. But as far as our social observation goes we find out certain reasons for depressive mood as women go through in most of the cases –

  •  Firstly, if we talk about today’s world, women are very fast, they  welcome the modern era, from dawn till dusk they are engaged themselves with work, whether it’s household works, office works or entrepreneurship, they hardly get any time to relax.
  • In certain points they didn’t get the exact identity or appreciation what they want or deserve for, they are quite eligible for doing anything, if they get a little exposure.
  • Some cases women become very content in life with their children and family, and in the middle age when husband and children are busy living their life, most women face ”midlife crisis”.
  • At the old age when they become alone due to so many reasons, life becomes burden on them.

Several ways are there to keep ourselves far away from depression-

  • Women should have their own world, doesn’t matter if they are doing a job, business or housewives.
  • Women should love themselves, should do what they love to do. If they are healthy mentally and physically, they will be able to take care of their families.
  • Today’s women have so many exposures, and they are talented in so many things, they should recognize their talent and bring it out to the world.

We are fortunate enough that we are living in the age of globalization, where sitting at home we can go to the every part of the world or get the knowledge of everything  just pressing some buttons of the computer, but in our grandmother’s time they did’t get that opportunity,  they even can’t think about their life doing anything except serving their families, and shocking point is, that time percentage of depression was lesser than today. Bid good bye to depression and try to be fit mentally , always engage yourself with the work that you love to do.

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Let’s pray for world peace.

word_peace_in_sand_187143Live a life of peace, let them live too. We consider martyrdom as patriotism. Martyrs devote lives to save our soil, to make our life peaceful. They don’t even look back at their family. Their timid eyes always anticipate their son, husband to come back home safely. Affectionate mother does not want to lose her son,  arms still hugging her son in dream. The newly wed bride , what is her fault, she is stuck in nightmare, wants to end of it soon. Today we are giving tribute to them, sharing their photos, writing about them. But we hardly empathise the feeling of their families. Burying all the griefs in hearts, paying salute to their near ones is not an easy task.

one week before, entire world celebrated new year, we always wish for a prosperous new year. The time has come when we need to wish for a peaceful new year. Natural calamity may happen, for we can’t control mother nature, but we can control violence, terror attack, religion riots, manipulation in the name of religion. our administrations, government is strong enough to give required protection to our soldiers, still it has been written in newspapers that there was lack of protection in pathankot. Why so?? Rising India and honorable ministers , when our soldiers are giving their 100% sacrificing their lives for nation, how government can be so indifferent?  Media or social media is busy increasing  TRPs. No one cares for healing deficiencies, where masses really need them. World needs PEACE now, nothing else. Meals and shelters for living and peace. No child wants to be orphan, no wife wants to be widow, no mother wants to lose her son. No more now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The world is too much with it.

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“Have you heard she has put on weight”. “Oh really! what are you saying?” “listen she is dark in complexion”. “She does not have any manner to talk to people” and so on…….really the world around us is too much with it. It as in GOSSIP. Oh! How can I forget to mention,of late our concerned topic is team india’s performance in world cup cricket semi final , how virat kohli’s girlfriend contributed to lose the match.But guys give them a break.Yes I know we like to do gossip on celebrities.Even I do participate sometimes. But this is a limit. We should apply our logic. I think we are capable of doing this, aren’t we?

And, of course some people are satisfied with life doing gossips,about neighbours, friends, relatives.But people who are being criticized should feel like top of the world because some people are giving them that much importance to discuss about them wasting time.We should feel pity on gossipers for they remain so uncomfortable with their life. putting all the shit on fire,need to show indifferent attitude towards them so that they can be least concerned about others.

journey of a girl towards womanhood and maturity.

Yes she is a girl, a girl at heart. She lives in a world, a world of her own. She believes everything will happen according to her wish in her self made world.But reality does not let her to do so. when she grows up, she faces a complete different world around her.whatever she used to think in her fantasy world is being shattered into pieces.Her tender mind is astonished and horrified at reality.She stumbles at different steps of her life,experiences things,good or bad on journeying towards life. Good experience gives her delight that she was not completely wrong in her imaginary world.Bad experience teaches her lessons and helps her to gain maturity in life.Yes,she was a princess in her fantasy world,but in real world she is a tigress.She can not give up on life.Life may appear negative,cruel to her but she knows how to turn everything into positive and peaceful conclusion.This is what we call maturity.She goes through it.With her touches,love and affection she makes everything beautiful and makes everybody happy.Yes this is her entity,she should be proud of it.I am dedicating this writing piece to all the woman over the world.Cheers ladies.You can make a beautiful world.Being woman is a joy.celebrate your existence and the fact who you are.