You want to be you; this statement is somewhat confusing, isn’t it? Close your eyes and think, have you ever dreamt of discovering yourself? Have you ever felt thrive what your heart yearns for? Have you ever listened to what your mind whispers to you? Your heart, mind, and soul are in constant effort to find a new you. A new person who was hidden within you for years and you had no clue.
A new you, your true self, who will decide how your story will turn and twist and how you can create a new one. A new you will teach you to tread a new path though you were stumbled and bled several times. There will be days where nothing falls into place, a new you will inspire how to stay strong.
Listen at least once to your true self who wants you to head to a completely new direction, where you can feel the essence, “yes this is life.’’ And you can scribble in your mind:-
I will survive amidst of a dark night,
I will survive on a cloudy day.
I will survive in a thorny season.
I will survive in a stormy year.
If life rages bloody eyes to me,
I will scream and let life know,
I will survive for the sake of my life
Your true self is the only healing of all the scars that you have had. Those scars are the reminders that you had the tough time, today is beautiful because it was painful yesterday. You have the strength to endure it and introspect to your true self.
You are meant to be someone else and you used to be someone else for years. The journey of discovering a new you may seem to be strange initially. Recognize your true self; let your former self-hear it. Your former self will leave no stone unturned to hold you back with procrastination and excuses but you want to get rid of it, and this struggle continues.
Now you will see your reflection in the mirror and realize because of those days when you felt fatigued, because of the work you prolonged and didn’t complete, because of all the undone executions you are able to discover a new you. When you made mistakes, fell down and got back up, when you felt you couldn’t go on more miles, your true-self gave you the assurance that you can and you will. When you were tired of being complacent and building the castle in the air with false hope, your true self-was emerged and raised its voice with strength and teach you to find fortitude.
You want to be you, not someone that your situation, your reality want you to be. Go and unwind yourself like a grain of sand. That is a new height of self-discovery, you always wanted in subconscious mind. You will look back and be thankful to your former self, because of its existence you are who you are today.
Soil, the life giver,
Farmers, the life saver.
Both captures the breath of the universe,
Save them or they will wipe you out.
I love to drool over lifestyle, good to better, better to best. Who doesn’t want to? Especially when you have tasted the essence of it. Of late we have moved to a new place, I met a girl, who was strolling around with her pet at an evening. We got introduced to each other and started walking, we had a nice conversation during our walk, and I got to know she is a photographer by profession; she was telling how she started her journey in photography. An elevated style of living helped her to come across all the way where she is today. By elevated life style, she doesn’t mean unaffordable, luxurious life. She shared with me few glimpses of her lifestyle, which helped her to live a happy and healthy life both personally and professionally. Like every journey, she also faced ups and downs, bumpy roads and smooth roads as well. By making smarter choices and lifestyle she defeated most of the obstacles which came on her way. Below are some mantras of her lifestyle that she shared with me:-
1) She told me one simple part of her lifestyle and that is before going to bed she always tries to focus on that day’s moments of joy, no matter how many things she did wrong on that day. She always tries to list down things she is grateful for. That very habit of her strikes me from within. I always used to worry about things that I didn’t do, or I could have done. After that day I also started to practice that simple rule which helped me to live a healthy and happy life. That’s how I experience we are not born with fixed amount of ability, it’s a muscle that needs to be developed with regular practice, and we can draw it when we require it.
2) The serenity of nature always boosts her energy up to the next level. Sometimes morning sunshine or evening quietness helped her to forget all the drudgeries of work life and next day she started her work in a fresh way. Sometimes on weekend spending time on a lakeside or walking in a park, she used to recall all her good memories of past, and how she used to sustain in challenging situations of life, that motivated her a lot. With growing age, we start losing our childhood innocence and sportive spirit by facing obscurities of life, staying close to nature helped her to regain that spirit from within.
3) Spending quality time on hobby will reshape you with all your dreams. We all have certain hobbies, doesn’t matter if one is doing job, self-employed entrepreneur or house wife. Some love to paint, others have an interest in music or cooking or in home decoration and so on. Nowadays ‘’art for art’s sake’’ is an old proverb for us. Being pressurized with work commitments and various responsibilities, we often forget that once we used to be good at something. That girl reminded me how spending sometimes on hobby helped her to deal with short-term failures and again she raised with all the possibilities.
4) She shared with me that at the beginning of her career she used to spend a long time of every day on social media misusing unlimited internet access and kill time by scrolling up and down. At the end of the day her energy used to fall short for doing anything productive. This often happens with me, and then she found a way out for this problem. Keeping yourself suddenly away from any bad habit when you are fond of it, is not an easy task. She used to log out of all her accounts and log in once a day. Initially, it was difficult but slowly, it became a habit and it saved a lot of time every day to think or do something in a productive way.
“An unexamined life is not worth living”
We can’t develop a decent lifestyle unless we examine or experience it. We read good books, listen to motivational speeches that definitely lead to building the positive attitude, but we can’t get along with it for long. But when we see a live example or a girl to our next door is working so hard to live a life like she is alive, teaches us to live not just exist.
Yes, self-improvement is a learning experience indeed. It starts when we realize we need to develop positive views towards life. In my personal journey, I have witnessed many people have transformed themselves as better individuals in various aspects of life. They started their journey from zero and achieved several goals at a given time. I got intrigued by their dedication and observed how little changes in everyday routine help them to transform. Many of us think that after a certain age we can’t do anything in life, there is a time for everything. If you believe in yourself, there is no right time to start from first step, at any point of life we can start to focus on self-growth. That’s what I learned by witnessing some people’s journey.
UTILISE LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES: – If we assume life as a learning curve and observe our surrounding, we will find a lot of opportunities to learn, we can learn from everybody, everything, and every situation. That can be an enjoyable and empowering activity. I have often been benefitted by it. When I watch some people closely and how they keep themselves calm even in a very harsh phase of life, that time I look into myself from a neutral point of view and ask how would I behave in the similar situation, and definitely I wouldn’t have behaved in a calm way. In this way, I learn calm and composed attitude can help us to make better decisions in life and changes our views to take life in a sportive way. To keep us calm is the major tool of self-improvement. It needs regular mental practice. Researching few articles and books, I get to know that we have to decide how we would love to act in a difficult situation, and how the consequences will be if we behave in a calm way. We have to rehearse in our mind this process every day so that when the harsh situation will come, our subconscious mind will direct us to remain calm, it helped me a lot in my personal growth as a mature individual.
SET A DEADLINE: – Deadline can be our best friend if we want to get anything done in time. Even I experience this in so many ways, being lazy I kept so many jobs unfinished for lack of time or I would rather say lack of sense of time. Every time I promised myself I will finish household chores daily and afterward I will focus on my personal development, as there was no deadline, the obvious outcome was all my work for personal growth was prolonged. I started to give a deadline for everyday small works and it worked.
STOP PROCRASTINATING:- Procrastination is a vice in us, which slowly poisons our self-esteem, for example if we start a work and try to finish it in six months, before starting the work we already procrastinate the possible difficulties and challenges which may emerge on our way, as consequences we delay the work and never be able to finish, simultaneously we find a lot of people around who start the same work and do finish it on time, that’s the difference, the strong mindset and determination are needed to avoid procrastination and to grow as a better person.
FOCUS ON THE WAYS NOT ON THE AIMS: – Converting dream into reality is the best thing that can ever happen in anyone’s life. Often we float away with colorful dreams and start to live in the imaginary world made of dreams. This is not harmful that can definitely boost our strength up but this is not practical either. To do that we often ignore the ways to reach that dream, it’s better to focus on the process, we need to exercise the habits of perseverance, discipline, and regularity. Once we will master these habits, gradually we will start observing positive changes in our day-to-day life.
SELF-AWARENESS: – To make a better version of ourselves, we have to be grimmest jawed that we won’t lie to ourselves and will face the fact who we really are by accepting our flaws. If we try to be better at something, the first and foremost step is self-awareness, in this situation we can step back and evaluate what we can do the best or what we have to work on. There must be something or some works in which we showed our excellence in the past, we can make a list of them and brush them up to bring the best out of us, it will eventually awaken the spirit in us by planting the seed of self-growth.
That’s how we learn to build the core muscle of our lifestyle, which needs regular exercise to be active. When we look back with a sigh at the pile of unfulfilled works and dreams, we realize those things could have been achieved with little discipline and consistency, unknowingly we keep ourselves into the dark realm of false promise and create a world of self-satisfaction around us to escape reality. At a certain point of life we introspect and feel the urge to transform ourselves as new us, and consequently the journey of self- improvement begins.
Every morning we wake up with so many actions to deal with, but till dusk, many of them remain incomplete. Sometimes we don’t get time but most of the time we get excuses. Excuse is the only negative tendency that pulls us back from doing all the undone works.
The fear of taking commitment and responsibility motivates us to make excuses. Knowingly or unknowingly we want to run away from our flaws by making excuses. We feel the need of excuses to make our self-image clean and intact, to get relief for time being. Thus we find a way of false satisfaction and assurance. This is a labyrinthine trap and we always get the victim of it. It conveniently becomes our habit to give excuses for every small thing. There must be some ways to get rid of this habit or I should rather say bad habit in disguise.
Conflict between conscious and instinctive state of mind
We all have so many goals in life; some may have a goal to build a healthy lifestyle. Others may have a goal to achieve a milestone in working life. Every small consistent step can make them happen. But we fall prey of conflict between the conscious and instinctive state of mind. Conscious mind knows what is good for us and motivates us to follow our goals, whereas instinctive mind reminds us that the way will be no easier. It needs complete perseverance and dedication and instigates us not to do it. So there is a huge gap between two states of mind, so what we can do is we can make a bridge of will power between two states of mind. It surely will take time but slowly it will make sustainable habits which will keep us away from giving excuses, rather it will grow the courage within us to accept our flaws and to work on it.
Do not hide from yourself
Keep yourself conscious or awake not to hide from real you. Very often we use excuses as a curtain to cover our flaws. If we accept ourselves with our flaws, we need not to depend on excuses. We can build sustainable habits from beginning to improve our life.
One good habit at a time
Every individual wants to make a better version of themselves, and to do so we aim to develop so many habits together. Let’s say someone wants to consume only healthy foods and cut out all the outside junk foods, now that is not impossible, but when the practice is brand new and is not a part of daily habits, it will be difficult to build it in one day. It is a bit like juggling if we randomly throwing a dozen balls in the air. What is going to happen? The solution to this problem is start practicing with one ball, once you got one under control, add another. And repeat the process. In this way to reform your food habit, start part by part; do one part at a time. When consistently good habits will generate, we won’t tend to make excuses.
Yes everyday pursuit may sound like a hardest and challenging part of any journey, but once it will get habituated, it will be a fun way of self-satisfaction. On that part, we have to be determined. For example, you want to grow reading habit, read every day, if you don’t want to read every day, can take a break for one or two days in between, but don’t give up on it. It does not matter if you are progressing slowly. When it will become a habit, the hardest thing to do is stop. If we can stick to everyday pursuit, we can keep excuses away from us to some extent.
Building sustainable habit has never been a cakewalk, we have to take challenges to reach where we always want to be, and that will allow us to grow as a person. Excuses will lead us nowhere, instead, reduces our confidence and take our focus off important goals. We have to trust our positive instinct and one day will realize that excuse is no longer a barrier of what makes who we really are.